I went through my resistance to the process and now I am back on track. I am back to loving this meditations feeling and I am also feeling lost in life. I still have all these wonderful ideas, and I feel my self-confidence is growing by the day, however, in my personal life I feel lost.
And I don’t know what is going on. The past week and a half almost two weeks now I have been in a whirlwind of emotions and realizations and breakthroughs. I have an immense amount of anger and fear.
I am feeling so much that I have to remind myself to tread slowly and wisely.
I need to be smart.
I need to have a strategy in place.
I need to continue the process, and trust the process.
The more I meditate the more becomes unveiled, and the more shows up to me.
My journal is again my best friend, and I will be going to counselling to help me process the overwhelming amount of anger and other feels I have.
Sometimes this is what happens in our practice: We surrender to the process and it changes everything. Then we have the soul side saying “Here’s the big picture of what’s happening.” while we have the human side going into all the feelings and emotions and processing all of it. It’s hard to balance sometimes, especially in our busy lives.
I’ve learned that I am worth investing in. And that its worth investing in the right help at the right times. Right now I need an extra ear to help with all the processing of the feelings I didn’t know I had until about a week or two ago.
The more I think about them and process them the more I discover about myself, my life and my decisions.
I still love the feeling of this meditation but it is giving me really unexpected gifts. All of these insights came after I went through the resistance in the meditation. Going through the resistance definitely has its rewards – and challenges.
Trust the process.
P.S. What’s your experience with this meditation?